First of all, I think it was the Marquis de Sade who said that 90% of life consists in forcing matter through tubes.  It’s physics.   

·         As in life, entering and exiting are always the big challenges.  As you mentioned earlier, it should be more or less intuitive—it just makes sense to wait for people to exit the car before you enter.  You’re thinking physics there.  Unfortunately, a lot of T commuters seem like cats with their whiskers cut off.  For others the problem goes beyond depth perception.  Entering and exiting trains presents enormous obstacles for people, not only physically but emotionally, bringing to the fore feelings of fear, indignation, enmity, and rage that have to be managed under what often amounts to extreme duress.  

Of course, that’s what etiquette’s for, in large part.  To mitigate the distress of these everyday necessary compromises forced on us by our physical limitations.  Etiquette acknowledges physics’ physical effect on us, but it also addresses the desperation our physical limitations produce in us. 

The main problem on the T is one philosophers have contemplated for millennia, a mainstay of physics with economic, social, and political ramifications: two bodies simply cannot occupy the same space at the same time.  What to do?  How to make this work?  Who makes way for whom?  

If there were subways in the state of nature, they would look something like the T: a war of all against all, where brute force decides.  But it doesn’t have to be that way.  There’s a commonsense, civilized solution. Unfortunately, there are other factors involved. 

Does the MBTA itself exacerbate the situation by multiplying the physical constraints wherever feasible, thus producing more anxiety and desperation on the part of riders, resulting in more bad behavior on their part?  I think so.  But somehow a city gets the subway it deserves. 

Other common breaches of etiquette on the T:  

·         Pushing, shoving, not saying "excuse me."  People of all social backgrounds seem guilty of this in Boston.  In fact, there’s a sense that people who should know better won’t deign to address the rabble.  Or maybe they’re afraid.  Which shows the difficulties of a truly democratic etiquette.  

·         Punching, stabbing, shooting.  

·         Spontaneous discharge of bodily fluids without appropriate measures to limit or contain discharge.  It never ceases to amaze me in the winter months how often I am coughed and sneezed on by people who make no attempt to cover their noses and mouths.  When they do, nine times out of ten, they sneeze into their bare hands and then  grab hold of a pole to steady themselves, leaving their slime behind for others to enjoy.  

While we may mix and mingle by choice or necessity in our public spaces, inasmuch as possible we should keep our bodily fluids to ourselves.  (Once again, I refer you to Sade, who, for all his faults, at least recognized that the control of bodily emissions serves as the fundament of all social conventions.)  

Proper etiquette on this is to sneeze or cough into your elbow, if you have nothing else to sneeze or cough into, but never into your bare hands.  This is not just for show, it’s a practical precaution in the name of public health.  But it does show a slightly more evolved outlook than “I’m sick, so everyone should be.”  

·         Personal grooming, including but not limited to brushing your hair, clipping your nails, “picking” anything off or from your person, or spraying perfume.  

      Any part of you that lands on me, or heaven forbid sticks to me, is going to be a problem.

·        Eating fast food in a crowded car. The rule on the T should be, nothing physically tangible goes in any orifice and nothing comes out.  Nothing.

·         Talking on your cell phone (I would add “at an obnoxious volume,” but can it be done any other way?)

·         Spacehogs—people who spread out over two or three seats in rush hour.  Alternatively, as we talked about briefly—people wearing big backpacks and whacking other people with them.  Packs should not be worn on the back on a crowded train.  You can wear it on the platform, but take it off before getting on the train. 

      Also, your feet belong on the floor, and nowhere else.  At some stations (like Ruggles) the rule now seems to be to sit on the back of the benches on the platform with your feet on the seat.  The muddier your shoes, the better.  

·         Space-Invaders.  Crowding someone is also unacceptable.  The amount of personal space is relative to the number of passengers in a car.  If there are only three, they will generally spread out so that the space between them is more or less equal.  The more riders, the less space between them, but the concept remains the same.  To come into a nearly-empty car and take a seat right next to a stranger can be perceived as threatening.

·         Not yielding your seat to someone who needs it more than you do.  This is a perennial favorite, and worth mentioning. 

The heart of the matter is simple.  It all comes down to the Golden Rule.  Or karma, if you like.  But it requires being willing and able to see things from both sides.  Too often you hear people complaining bitterly about some certain behavior, and then turning around the next minute and doing it themselves, seemingly oblivious to the fact that what is annoying or unacceptable to them when others do it is annoying and unacceptable to others when they do it, too. 

As for what the T could do, In the past I’ve suggested distributing riders’ manuals, or an etiquette blitz, with ads featuring a cuddly mascot (like, I dunno, maybe a hundred and eight year old tortoise) who could make the odd appearance on T platforms and frighten or embarrass people into compliance.  The problem for the T is that they have no moral authority, because in so many ways they're complicit in the culture of rudeness.  For the T to lecture its riders on etiquette would obviously be ridiculous.  Public shamings and interventions are a more grassroots approach.  But the truth is civility’s always an uphill battle. 

Like I said, a city gets the subway it deserves.