Jews Routed in Seattle.  I don't know if it's the milder than usual weather or what, but this year's War on Christmas just doesn't seem as spirited as last year's was.  Sure, "Merry Christmas" has pretty much whooped "Happy Holiday's" ass this year, what with Wal-Mart sponsoring its comeback.  But it doesn't seem to matter like it did last year. 

Take this year's tree flap.  Rabbi Elazar Bogomilsky was ticked off that the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport had Christmas trees and no menorahs, so he threatened a lawsuit.  So far, so good, right?  This is how it's supposed to go.  A boycott would have been better, but the left favors lawsuits, for some reason.  It's easier to hire a lawyer than to organize a big, hairy protest, I guess.  And we all know liberals have better things to do with their time.  Getting gay-married, being godless, raising taxes.  You know, keeping busy.

But instead of just putting up a couple of menorahs to placate the rabbi, Sea-Tac authorities went and took all the trees down.  The rabbi, having had his bluff called, and having been inundated with hate-mail, recanted.  The trees went back up, still no menorahs.  Lots of fodder for the pundits, who never tire of their "PC" bugaboos (I'm sure Jeff Jacoby is busy scribbling his little heart out about it as we speak).  In short, Christmas was saved again (for this year, at least), and everyone lived happily ever after!

But was it really a victory for the "Christmas" camp?  The reason Seatac was able to display the trees in the first place was because they contained no explicit reference to religion in themselves, and, according to the U.S. Supreme Court, could rightly be considered secular symbols.  They were, in every sense, not even "holiday trees," but simply "seasonal trees," call them what you will. 

Menorahs are a bit more problematic, but as the Seattle Times reported, "The U.S. Supreme Court had determined that menorahs, like Christmas trees, can be secular symbols if they are not part of a religious-themed display. Bogomilsky's menorah — like those in other public places — is lit with bulbs, rather than oil, which requires a blessing before lighting."

When I was a kid, it's true, there were not such strident attempts to Christianize Christmas trees.  There are no Christmas trees in the Gospel.  Christ was not born in Canada. 

Everyone knows, modern American Christmas is an orgy of consumerism.  I'm almost ashamed to say it, it's such a cliche.  The more self-professed Christians insist on "keeping the Christ in 'Christmas Tree,'" the more of a mockery they make of what they claim matters to them.  Which surprises no one in the end. 

Of course, the Fox-sponsored "War on Christmas" has nothing to do with Christmas.  It is a way to remind  people and groups unliked or unwanted by a noxious, vocal, ill-educated, intolerant, immoral minority, that they are unwelcome in America.  After all, anyone with half a brain knows that a blue spruce with twinkly lights and bright baubles on it has nothing inherently Christian about it. 

I love Christmas trees, myself.  I just wish The Right would stop trying to Christianize them. It trivializes true religious symbols for the rest of us. 

Anyway, whatever happened to peace on earth, and "I'd like to buy the world a Coke"?


If you can't beat 'em, sue 'em!  Since a boycott won't work in this case, the Massachusetts Family Institute and voteonmarriage.org have decided they have no choice but to file a suit against lawmakers who don't agree with them about enshrining discrimination in the State Constitution. 

This is very important, people.  As everyone knows, in the two years since its legalization, gay marriage has become a scourge in Massachusetts, laying waste to heterosexual marriages far and wide, and destroying the foundations of family and society, just as opponents predicted.    

But corrupt legislators and activist judges controlled by the Jewish-Illegal-Gay-Immigrant (JIGI) Conspiracy cannot be stopped by common sense measures like spewing hate speech, shamelessly dragging your children along to spew hate speech in public demonstrations, prophesying the end of civilization, and so on.  When intimidation doesn't work, and boycotts are not an option, I guess you have to settle for a lawsuit.  Crossing your fingers that you won't get stuck with one of those evil activist judges hearing it.  

And what a lawsuit it is.  As the Salem News reports, it "asks the court to switch the 109 lawmakers' votes in favor of a recess so that the proposed amendment can proceed to the Legislature's next session."  But that's not all.  "Those lawmakers are also being sued for at least $5 million - about $46,000 each, out of their own pockets - according to court documents." 

Well, why not?  I'm sure if they win the righteous pillars of society at the MFI will put their winnings to good use.  An advertising campaign for the referendum, perhaps, depicting the evils of sodomy in the marriage bed, or exposing the next step in the JIGI Agenda: men skipping down the aisle with their pets and house-plants as society crumbles around them.

Something in the water? Sooner or later, Evangelicals will realize that all of their preachers are phonies.  There was another one outed this week.  The issue here is not homosexuality, it's hypocrisy, self-loathing, and the preaching of hatred as a means of concealing it.  

The sad thing about the phonies in the evangelical movement is that they prey on people who desperately need religion in their lives.  They need something, anyway, to keep them out of trouble and away from the general population.  Unfortunately, the more deep and earnest that need, the more easily suckered by these obvious shysters they are.


"I think secular and liberal Harvard rebelled."  Speaking of religion, Harvard's proposed "Faith and Reason" requirement for incoming freshman has been changed to a "What it means to be a human being" course.  Ouch.  

My inside sources tell me that week four of the draft course syllabus is entitled "Always Horny"  No verification yet, but I'm thinking this could be one of those courses you get to watch porn in.  We do know that week four includes topics like "The Devil's Handshake," "Muffin Buffin'," and "Fuck and Chuck."

We've also been told that both week two and week fourteen include lectures entitled: "No Bowel Control."  There is an entire week dedicated to flatulence, one each for watching TV, commuting to work, and talking on your cell phone in public places. 

And naturally, roughly a third of the course is dedicated to sleeping.

Not to worry, Righteous of Harvard, a warning label will appear on the syllabus.  According to Alison Simmons, a philosophy professor and cochairwoman of the general education task force, it will read: This course "is not meant as a direct substitute for religion."


We all are, of course!  I mean, think of the fun we'd all be missing out on if people were sensible and tolerant, and minded their own damn business.  What a drag!  What is the Culture War but an equal opportunity for everyone to make an ass of him or herself, to air his or her noxious prejudices in public and to find others who share them?