If at that moment they don't condemn me outright to hell, skillfully change the subject, or run away screaming, I still have to think seriously before actually sending them to my blog. Usually I direct them first to mennonno.blogspot.com, since that site contains published freelance material, less personal and more suitable, on the whole, for general consumption than what you find here. (Although I don't consider what's here to be too risqué, I suppose some might). Once they've read some reportage, a polemic or two, if they have the stomach for it, they can follow some links back to the juicy stuff.

The problem is that once they get to it, sometimes they just don't get it.

One thing visitors to my old blog, T-Rage!—which dealt loosely with the "culture" of public transit here in Boston—used to ask is "why do you care?" My answer was always: either everything matters or nothing does. But this cuts to the heart of blogging, too. People who don't do it nonetheless want to know why those who do do. Why do bloggers blog? Well, it's like Everest, innit? I mean, because we can.

My feeling is, if you are reading this now, don't ask why. Take it. It's a gift.

That's right. It's free. So don't complain.

In fact, bloggers are very accommodating people, on the whole. I myself am always looking for ways to make my readers' lives easier, and in that spirit, here are some Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) the answers to which may help you decide whether you want to proceed any further along this treacherous path into the dark wood...

Why Masspurgation? Why now? Masspurgation is sort of a play on words. I live in Massachusetts, which is often abbreviated MASS., but it's also mass as in The Masses. That's you guys. Purgation also has a double meaning—a layover in purgatory, and the noun form of the verb to purge. Plus the whole thing sounds like masturbation. Which is essentially what blogging is.

Um...

It was the best I could come up with on short notice, people. Gimme a break.

Are you affiliated with Masspirg? While I love their uniforms, no. No, I'm not.

Are you related to Boston Mayor Tom Menino? Again, while I love the mayor with all my heart, I don't believe we're related.

Don't you think "masspurgation.com" is kind of hard to spell and takes a long time to type into the address thingy on internet explorer? Bookmark it.

Are you really the horrible, horrible, horrible person you come off as in this blog? It's just the tip of the iceberg, actually.

What must your mother think? My mother is the reason I became what I am today.

So, you were an English major, and are a bitter failed writer who takes it out on innocents in his little blog, right? Um, no, actually, I got my BA in History.

Is blogging your life? I blog to live, I don't live to blog.

So... is there anywhere I can find naked pictures of you on the internet? Is there anywhere you can't is more to the point. Surely you've seen my abs already?

Are you being ironic? I can never tell! LOL! As I have said on a number of occasions, I am never more serious than when I'm joking, and never joking more than when I'm serious.

So you don't really believe all those horrible, horrible, horrible things you've written here, then, do you? It's all true, insofar as there is such a thing as truth. There is, but it's not what you think it is.

You're frightening me. Please, questions only.

Sorry. Um, what's your favorite Prince song? Hmm, that's a tough one. Either "Cream" or "Do Me, Baby."

If I held a gun to your head? "Do Me, Baby," I guess.