Ever since my faithless friend, Tony, planted the seeds of doubt about the effectiveness of Purell—and particularly because of Purell's place in my heart, being something Batch and I both believe in with a conviction bordering on religious—I have been looking for proof that Purell actually works, and doesn't just smell like it does—that its germ-killing properties are not merely the stuff of urban legend, like its combustibility.

It may not be enough that I have not had the flu (it has been a mild season, after all) or even so much as a full-out cold this winter (knock on wood), even though I have been riding the T almost daily since it got insanely cold in February, have been going to the gym (a notoriously germy place) regularly, and am occasionally forced to go out and work amongst the unwashed masses.

While Tony didn't say it, there is a bourgeoning contingent of Purell-skeptics (and, presumably they are ethyl alcohol skeptics, too, since that's mostly what Purell is) out there who seem to think that using 2 oz. of the stuff over the course of the winter will lead to "immunity breakdown," as one scopes.com message boarder put it, or to giant unstoppable mutant flu strains paralyzing our fair cities faster than you can say "aqua teen hunger force".

I think the skeptics might actually be the ones engaging in wishful thinking here.
Now, I'm all for healthy skepticism, myself. But with an emphasis on "healthy"! So in that spirit, I have taken my friend's Purell-denial as an opportunity to explore the question of ethyl alcohol's effectiveness in sanitizing my hands (I will not be shaking his anytime soon, I can tell you).

I start with the product itself. I like Purell because it comes in a 2 oz. bottle, smaller than a cellphone, easy to take anywhere. And there are plenty of places, as we all know, where there are no hand-washing facilities handy. That's all Purell claims to be: "an Instant Hand Sanitizer designed to kill germs on the hands when you don't have access to soap and water." The only relevant question here is: does it?

Pfizer, which acquired Purell from GOJO Industries in 2004, answers a number of FAQs about Purell on its consumer healthcare site. Among them:

Are Purell® products kosher?

Purell® products are not certified kosher by rabbinical authorities. However, no Purell® formulas contain any animal by-products. Rabbinical certification has never been sought.

Is Purell® flammable?

The product is flammable but requires a flame, spark or other ignition source.

Does Purell® kill the good germs and bad germs?

Purell® does eliminate some of your good germs while it gets rid of the bad germs. The same is true when washing with soap and water. However, in both cases, your body quickly regenerates the good germs. Because Purell® products have no residual antimicrobial activity, the natural flora left in the skin will resurface and repopulate quickly on the skin.

Will Purell® contribute to resistance?

There is no evidence that organisms adapt and become immune to the active ingredient in Purell® products. Many sources indicate that for organisms to become resistant, low levels of the chemical must be available for the organisms to adapt. The alcohol in Purell® evaporates completely, leaving no alcohol behind for the organisms to adapt to. Purell® leaves no harmful residue. Hands are left feeling soft and refreshed. A small bit of emollient (skin conditioning agent) is left on the hands after use. Once your hands are dry, all the alcohol has evaporated.

If Pfizer is to be believed, Purell is what it says it is and does what it's supposed to do. But, OK, I'd have to be a complete tool to take Pfizer's word for anything, right? (Although the Viagra seems to be working—purely as a recreational drug, you understand.)

Why not check Yahoo! Answers? That's always a fount of homespun wisdom. I type "purell" into the "search for questions" field, and what's the first thing that pops up? "Purell..........? is it safe to put purell hand sanitizer on my genitals and will it clean them well...male."

What's the second? "Purell Lotion Hoax?" —

Mandatory safety briefing at work told of a fellow who rubbed his hands in Purell, immediately went out for a smoke when his hands caught on fire resulting in worse than 3rd degree burns. Graphic photos depicted burns that went completly thru the epidermis and destroyed significant muscle tissue.

Purell is flammable as the label warns—contains alcohol. But..(!)

Seen/heard this hoax yet? Feedback?

In fact, this story surfaced again. "ashley p" reported: "i just heard about a guy who put some on and then lit a cigarette and his hands caught on fire!! he had to have a few fingers amputated-no joke."

Turns out the third was the charm: "makelove" asks, Tarzan-like: "Purell=bad?" And laments that if it does =bad, "it will be very hard to convince me to give up my [Purell] obsession." Not to worry, answers were unanimous in support of her hand-sanitizing addiction.

(There was, however, an answer that delved deeply into another problem with alcohol-based hand cleaners: drinking them in great quantities will get you drunk. Don't try this at home.)

But what does the scientific community have to say about all of this?

Well, Günter Kampf and Axel Kramer, in their riveting article in the October 2004 issue of Clinical Microbiology Review, "Epidemiologic Background of Hand Hygiene and Evaluation of the Most Important Agents for Scrubs and Rubs" (p. 863-893), conclude: "The best antimicrobial efficacy can be achieved with ethanol (60 to 85%)." Purell, by the by, is 62% ethanol. They add: "Plain soap and water has the lowest efficacy of all." Ouch. Should we do away with soap and water altogether? They seem to think it might not be a bad idea: "Personnel should be reminded that it is neither necessary nor recommended to routinely wash hands after each application of an alcohol-based hand rub."

Of course, Kampf and Kramer are talking about health care professionals here. For everyday use by run-of-the-mill schlubs like you and me, what's the protocol?

Several wide-ranging and random sources I surveyed, from The Mayo Clinic and the city of Ottawa to the University of Wisconsin and The Centers for Disease Control, agreed that...

Alcohol-based hand sanitizers — which don't require water — are an excellent alternative to hand washing, particularly when soap and water aren't available. They're actually more effective than soap and water in killing bacteria and viruses that cause disease. Commercially prepared hand sanitizers contain ingredients that help prevent skin dryness. Using these products can result in less skin dryness and irritation than hand washing.

...but stressed: "Not all hand sanitizers are created equal, though. Some 'waterless' hand sanitizers don't contain alcohol. Use only the alcohol-based products."

But the final word on the matter, at least for me, comes from Dr. Sanjay Gupta at CNN. 

It's December 11, 2003 - 09:32 AM ET and CNN morning anchor Solidad O'Brien (who is the female version of me) is discussing her morning commute with the network's medical correspondent.

SOLIDAD: ...if you ride the subway, as I do, you see people hacking, hacking, and then they hang onto the subway strap, and you think, yuck.

SANJAY: That's a little disgusting.... [A]fter you touch something that you think might be contaminated, such as that subway handle, don't touch your mouth, nose or eyes. That's how you're really taking that flu virus, or whatever virus, and actually transmitting it to yourself is from two steps, shaking or touching something, and then touching mouth, nose or eyes. That's typically what happens.

SOLIDAD: Does the Purell stuff, or those hand sanitizers work as well as if you just went to the bathroom and used hot soap and water?

SANJAY: Yes, they work very well. The difference is they're alcohol based, so they're probably going to dry out your hands a little bit more. But you know what, people use those a lot more, because you put them right on your desk and just squirt some in and wash your hands. You do that pretty frequently throughout the day. Using those keyboards, as we mentioned earlier, also very dirty, those keyboards can harbor virus for up to 72 hours.

Now, if you can't believe Solidad and Dr. Sanjay, who can you believe?