Boylston Street is a bustling center of beggary in the summer months, as anyone who works or plays in Back Bay knows too well.

Recently I was having a sandwich on a park bench in Copley Square around noon, watching the Greenpeace guys trying to snag passersby and getting rebuffed at every pass.

They each have their own shtick, of course. Some pull a sad face and ask you if you care about "The Environment" (I do—I like mine ambient). Some get all businesslike and demand "just thirty seconds to save the planet."

They always come in pairs, or sometimes three at a time, so as to block the whole sidewalk. Try and cross the street, you'll find another contingent on the other side. (That method is the main reason I feel justified in not giving them the time of day—physically blocking someone's passage is a pretty primitive way to get them to engage. I consider it a bit coercive.)

Of course, they're mostly just kids. It must be frustrating for them. And if you stick around and watch them for a few minutes from the safety of a park bench, you'll get to see them lose it, throw up their hands and beseech The Heavens: "Why won't these fools listen?!"

The sky may indeed be falling, but I have a hard time believing Greenpeace can prop it up. And I know their tools on the street mean well, and they canvas places like Copley Square because it's a public space and they're not allowed in suburban malls, which is where they need to be.

Why not open Greepeace boutiques in shopping centers across the country featuring green technology, books, hempwear, and the like? I mean, if you want to get the message out and win hearts and minds. Or how about a goofy mascot? What about a cartoon on Fox? Think outside the box, bitches.

If you insist on peddling your dire prognostications on sidewalks and public squares you might take a hint from Boston's panhandlers. They seem to do pretty well for themselves. So ditch the clipboard and the duds, and grab an empty Dunkin Donuts cup from the trash, and start rattling.

There's one little guy, very meek and mild, who always stands outside the Starbucks on Berkeley and Boylston, asking for "whatever you can spare on your way out to help the homeless." He makes it sound like he's advocating. Of course, he is "the homeless." And when you toss him some change at least you know the money's going to drugs, alcohol, and junk food. I have no idea what Greenpeace does with it.

I've seen that beggar rake in ten bucks in ten minutes at rush hour, by the way. Especially when the weather's bad.

That's another thing about these Greenpeace guys. They're fair-weather warriors. You never see them in nasty weather. Panhandlers know that's when you make the most money. People don't feel sorry for you when the weather's glorious.

The weather's a problem. The last few weeks—before this little heatwave—were much cooler than usual. And you've got some guy with a clipboard asking you about global warming? A little tip: it's "Climate Change," dude.

Anyway, it doesn't matter if you stop and talk to these guys or not in the end. It won't save the planet—that's what bird flu is for—and tomorrow these clowns will be blocking the sidewalk, trying to guilt-trip you for time again.

It'll probably be a different set of clowns, actually, since there's pretty much daily turn-over for clipboarders. Because it doesn't take long before even they know it's hopeless.