So, I was pretty excited to see Katie Couric's career briefly resuscitated by The CBS Evening News Slap Flap. Since she left the morning circuit I've had to get my power-puff snark on with Kelly Ripa. Love ya, Kel, but it's just not the same!

I was so excited by the news that Couric had slapped a staffer, in fact, that I started day-dreaming that instead of that "Free Speech" segment on the Evening News they should try something where you have someone come on just to get slapped by Katie. Their ratings would go through the roof.

I mean, nothing fancy. Maybe just have a celebrity or statesman come on and say "sputum," get slapped, and after a brief dance vignette à la Laugh-In, cut to commercial.

I had seen a segment on the incident on the morning news and then read about it (hungrily) in The Herald, but it wasn't until later that I discovered they had omitted some important facts from their accounts.

I think anyone reading the Herald's account or seeing reports of the incident on the local news could be forgiven for imagining, in great detail, Couric slapping her news editor in the face.

But as I later discovered, to my eternal chagrin, she had done no such thing. She hadn't slapped him "over and over and over again" in the face. No. "she began slapping him 'over and over and over again"... on the arm.

The arm. Katie, you're the first woman evening news anchor on network TV. You are capable of more. An indian burn. A noogie. A titty twister. At the very least.

And if you're going to publicize this kind of thing in the hopes of higher ratings, at least give us a bruised titty or a fat lip to titillate us.