WASHINGTON - Chief Justice John Roberts will remain in hospital overnight after having his Halliburton Evil Chip replaced, just days after Vice President Dick Cheney had a similar operation. Doctors explained that Mr. Cheney had been using his E-Chip so much it was "fried to a crisp."

"He goes through about one a month," said Dr. Lupus Frangipani, of the Halliburton E-Chip Lab, which manufactures and installs the Evil Chip in politicians, media moguls, and even celebrities like Tom Cruise.

The E-Chip is just four millimeters across but when implanted in the brain greatly enhances evilness.

President Bush went through a routine E-Chip replacement just two weeks ago, Dr. Frangipani reported.

"He was having his colorectal exam, and we thought since we're in the neighborhood, why not kill two birds with one stone."

This will be the third E-Chip in as many years for Chief Justice Roberts.

"The problem is, sometimes the potential for evil even overwhelms the E-Chip," Dr. Frangipani explained. "The court's last session, particularly the Parents Involved v. Seattle School District #1 decision, caused an E-Chip meltdown, and as a result Chief Justice Roberts suffered a small seizure."

Roberts, reportedly in good condition after the operation, is eager to try out his new improved E-Chip, according to a family friend, who says "he has already skinned two teacup chihuahuas with nothing but his fingernails and teeth right in his hospital bed!  He's in good spirits."

A SCOTUS spokesman confirmed that Roberts was doing well.  "Minutes after the installation, he was joking, 'the way to stop doing good is to stop doing good.'"