So, Marco Materazzi has revealed the insult that sent Zinedine Zidane into a head-butting fury, got the latter tossed from the game, likely cost the French the 2006 World Cup, and launched a thousand video games:

"I prefer the whore that is your sister."

You've got to be kidding me. A sister insult is Level Six, not Level Eight, and, according to The Official Sports Insult Retaliation Handbook 2005-2006, merits "a counter-sister-insult with the additional mention of livestock," or "a shove with the forearm," or both, depending on "if the insultee has a sister, how many, and which one/s was/were insulted."

Of course, it has already been fairly established from the legions of lip-readers sent to review video of the international incident that Materazzi called Zidane "the son of a terrorist whore," which is a Level Seven, and could have warranted, "spitting in the face, smashing a beer bottle over the head, or punching the jaw of the offender," depending on "whether the insultee's mother is a terrorist, or a whore, or both."

More astute readers will have recognized a problem with the latest reportage regarding the insult that provoked the headbutt heard round the world.  Namely: you cannot prefer something if there is nothing else to prefer it to. There is obviously more to this story than meets the eye.

But the truth is, Materazzi's already told it, albeit without the juicy bits, like you couldn't supply them yourself:

'I did not provoke him, I responded verbally to a provocation,' Materazzi told the daily Gazzetta dello Sport.

'We both spoke and I wasn't the first. I held his shirt but don't you think it is a provocation to say that 'if you want my shirt I will give it you afterwards'?

'I replied to Zidane that I would prefer his sister.'

I think the Jersey would have been a better choice in the end, myself. If he offered, why not just say, "Sure! I'll meet you in the locker room after the match to collect it, you son of a terrorist whore"? Then you could have sold it for a small fortune on ebay. It would be a safer bet than his sister, anyway. I mean, sight unseen.

Is it cynical to wonder if Materazzi's new admission, over a year after the fact, that he wasn't asking for Zidane's sister's hand in marriage, wasn't even planning to take her out on a date, that he, in fact, regarded her as a whore, upon whom niceties like flowers and chocolates would be wasted, is merely an attempt to drum up sales for his forthcoming autobiography? Which I am sure, by the way, will be simply fascinating, and chock full of wisdom and witticisms.

He has assured the press they'll find new undreamed of details and a complete deconstruction with lots of pictures and diagrams of the world historic insult on page 21 of the 23-page book.