I got a kick out of this slightly alarmist review of the softcore porn teen-anthropology tome, "Restless Virgins: Love, Sex, and Survival at a New England Prep School" in The Globe yesterday. The headline might as well have read:


The authors of the book, both graduates of the famously horny Milton Academy, found, shockingly, that sex is rampant among unsupervised teens! Even prep school teens, many of whom go on to ivy league colleges!

"Casual and sometimes hardcore teen sex — is a nationwide phenomenon," they reveal. And it's happening "in the dorm, the library, bathrooms,  campus fields, and even the chapel."

OK, so let me get this straight, because, frankly, this is blowing my mind:

Prep school teens having raunchy sex, and then going on to ivy league colleges (and possibly more sleazy sex, but not with sleazy people, perish the thought—only other ivy-leaguers).  And then, from there, on to successful careers among the privileged classes. Followed by families, mortgages, Volvos and Land Rovers, and fairly normal, boring adult lives where they daydream on their weekend drives to the Cape or the Vineyard with the family about all that raunchy sex from their prep school days.

This is unprecedented.

The real shocker seems to be "the entitled attitude toward sex by a group of boys"—also clearly unprecedented—"and the willingness of younger girls in particular to go along with extreme and casual encounters."

"Why would such bright achievers succumb to performances on command?" the authors ask.

Could it be because achievement demands it?

Sex is just funny that way, I guess. As Laura Kipnis writes in her review of the latest in post-feminist alarmist lit in this month's Harper's:

People want to and frequently do have sex with each other for murky and self-deceiving reasons, or for clear-eyed reasons that turn out to be mistaken, or a thousand variations on the theme of erroneous judgment. If young women are experimenting with roles, trying to invent nontraditional relations to their sexuality, the question is why this causes so much hand-wringing. One obvious reason is that they're breaking ranks with the injury story, which alarms those who are invested in conventional femininity. But female sexuality has always generated alarmist narratives.

the long and short of it is, they're young, horny, and probably high most of the time.  Shit happens.

In other words, the real question here is: and? I mean, it's only blowjobs and anal sex, people. (But if these girls are still virgins, you can use me in your risotto recipe, because I must be extra-virgin. Heck, just start doing your hail-marys to me from here on out.)

But then we're all restless virgins in the end, aren't we?

Chalk up another victory for the Gay Agenda, is all I can say. We've been having virginal sex for ages. Now everybody's doing it! According to the Milton Academy Girls, blowjobs, anal sex, and "Teens engaging in acrobatic threesomes" are all de rigueur on prep school campuses these days. Yawn.

I do think it's sour grapes to begrudge the kids what will probably be some of the best anal sex they'll ever have.

But I guess if you're going to publish an updated prep school version of Justine, and get The Globe to promote it with references to profligate blowjobs, sodomy, casual lesbianism, and teen gang bangs, you've got to at least disguise it as a concerned treatise on the declining morals, particularly of the once-fairer, now fairly sullied and scandalized sex.