WASHINGTON - Defense Secretary Robert Gates is seeking $180 billion for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan in 2008, increasing initial projections by more than a third. The Secretary has also asked for every American male's left testicle, and the sacrifice of every firstborn child, starting in January of next year.

Congress is expected to comply.  The President, in a statement from his Ranch in Crawford this morning, reminded them, "to do otherwise would be un-American."

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi responded in a short press conference in Washington. "We will fight like hell and in the end give the President whatever he asks for. The people have spoken."

Originally The Defense Secretary's list of demands included Americans' SUVs, summer vacations, X-Boxes, ipods, and lunch money.  When asked why he had relented Gates replied, "what would be left for 2009?"

Questioned on the necessity of every American male's left testicle, Gates shot back: "It's not a sacrifice. It's redundant. I mean, you've got a spare."

"And anyway," he added, "what's necessity got to do with it?"

When asked if the sacrifice of the firstborn was moral, the Secretary replied, "I said first-born, not un-born."

Reaction on the street has been mixed.

"I'm relieved," said John Baxter, an office worker from Boston visiting the Capitol. "I thought he might take my X-Box."

When asked about his left testicle, Baxter said, "Oh, that old thing? You don't need it to play Viva Piñata. It's just in the way."

Baxter's girlfriend, Sheila Compton, agreed. 

When told about the firstborn proposal, she said she was happy that the administration was finally asking Americans to sacrifice. "I guess I'm, like, a little outraged that it's a human sacrifice, but whatever. You can always have more."

Echoing Compton's sentiments, Tim Starks, a bicycle courier who happened to be riding by, shook his fist and asked, "Where's the outrage?"

"I said I was outraged," Compton shot back, rolling her eyes.

"Dude," Baxter reminded him, "they're letting you keep your ipod!"

"Oh," Starks replied, "cool!" And cycled off.

The cost of the war so far is almost half a trillion, about $12 billion a month. As an estimated end to the conflict is expected to be never, estimates for the projected cost of the war range from $2 trillion to infinity.