Casandra and Me (Part III)
Dear Ajax Abeksee-McGuise III,
How are you today? please i want you to know that i am not going to japan am in my country cote d'ivoire for now untill this fund is transfered, so please i want to know if you are ready to help me out this problem? because you need to get incontact with the Bank and know how this fund will be transfer to you there in your country ok. so i will be expeting to hear from you so that i will give you the contact information of the Bank so that you can contact them and know how we are to proceed on this matter thanks and Bye ok.
Regards,
Casandra.
Dear Casandra,
Somehow, I'm not surprised you won't be joining us in Tokyo. What a stick-in-the-mud. It's probably a good thing. You'd be pinching your pennies the whole time, I'm sure. "Can you guys spot me another G-note?" I know your kind.
Sammy summed it up best when he read your last little hysterical ejaculate: "That Casandra is a taker." The Lindas tend to agree, I'm afraid. "She's just using you," they said in unison (they say every little thing in unison—it's amusing at first, but much like your daily rants, it grows tedious). Even my babies growl at your emails. And they are the best judges of character, darling. They hate ALL my friends.
You know what I'm beginning to think? I'm beginning to think you're just some poor schmuck sitting in a cubicle in some high-tech sweatshop full of poor schmucks just like you, eking out a meager living somewhere trying to dupe random people with some transparent scam. And how do you think that makes me feel to think that? Pegged for a fool by someone who can't even spell "suffer." My motto is, "if you can't spell it, you can't do it." At least not properly.
While I am, unfortunately, inclined to agree with my motley friends, I am generous to a fault, especially with millionaire African orphans, and while my friends may call me naive, I would like to give you a chance to prove that you aren't just a garden-variety con-artist, that you really like me as a person and want to be my dearest BFF.
So, I'll tell you what: if you can answer the following questions, honestly, from your little heart of hearts, I will consider—CONSIDER, Cassy, NOT AGREE yet—to help you with your little monetary drama. It may look daunting, but if you're serious about "us" you'll take the time! (And anyway it's the very least you could do for putting me to any trouble on your account at all.)
1) First of all, how old are you?
2) Do you believe in reincarnation?
3) Would you rather be deaf or blind?
4) If you found out your best friend was gay/lesbian, what would you do? (Just hypothetical LOL)
5) Do you consider yourself a good listener?
6) Would you rather be short or tall?
7) Would you rather be overly happy and poor, or miserable and filthy rich? (I think we all know the answer to that one LOL)
8) Do you wonder if you have bad breath sometimes?
9) Do you like to dance?
10) Are you shy to ask someone out?
11) Do you like to talk on the phone?
12) Would you rather go on a walk or watch tv?
13) What's your dream honeymoon place?
14) What would be the first thing you'd change about yourself?
15) Do you think boys or girls have it easier?
16) If you had a round-trip ride in any time machine, where would you go?
17) If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do?
18) Do you like Adidas, Nike, Fila, or Reebok [or any other brand]?
19) If you could change your name, what would it be?
20) If you were in a theater and someone was crying, would you laugh? (I would LOL)
21) Have you ever thought you were going to die?
22) What's the hardest thing about growing up?
23) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Would you ever?
24) What little unknown talents do you possess?
25) Would you eat a bowl of live crickets for $40,000? (Um, yes, I think you would, you greedy little bitch LOL)
26) If this Saturday, you could do ANYTHING you wanted, what would you do?
27) What's the worst word(s) you know?
28) Would you rather have a big butt and little boobs, or vice-versa?
29) Have you ever wanted to run away? Run where?
30) What's your worst fear?
31) What is your dream car?
32) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
33) Have you ever felt you were in love?
34) If you were stranded on a deserted island with one person, who would it be?
35) What is your favorite color?
36) What guy/girl do you want more than anyone else?
37) If you could be any animal what would you be?
38) What is your favorite gum?
39) How do you eat an Oreo?
40) Do you eat chicken fingers with a fork?
41) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
42) If you could do anything to the person you hated most what would it be?
I'll be awaiting your answers with bated breath and tightened sphincter!
XO
Aje.
How are you today? please i want you to know that i am not going to japan am in my country cote d'ivoire for now untill this fund is transfered, so please i want to know if you are ready to help me out this problem? because you need to get incontact with the Bank and know how this fund will be transfer to you there in your country ok. so i will be expeting to hear from you so that i will give you the contact information of the Bank so that you can contact them and know how we are to proceed on this matter thanks and Bye ok.
Regards,
Casandra.
* * *
Dear Casandra,
Somehow, I'm not surprised you won't be joining us in Tokyo. What a stick-in-the-mud. It's probably a good thing. You'd be pinching your pennies the whole time, I'm sure. "Can you guys spot me another G-note?" I know your kind.
Sammy summed it up best when he read your last little hysterical ejaculate: "That Casandra is a taker." The Lindas tend to agree, I'm afraid. "She's just using you," they said in unison (they say every little thing in unison—it's amusing at first, but much like your daily rants, it grows tedious). Even my babies growl at your emails. And they are the best judges of character, darling. They hate ALL my friends.
You know what I'm beginning to think? I'm beginning to think you're just some poor schmuck sitting in a cubicle in some high-tech sweatshop full of poor schmucks just like you, eking out a meager living somewhere trying to dupe random people with some transparent scam. And how do you think that makes me feel to think that? Pegged for a fool by someone who can't even spell "suffer." My motto is, "if you can't spell it, you can't do it." At least not properly.
While I am, unfortunately, inclined to agree with my motley friends, I am generous to a fault, especially with millionaire African orphans, and while my friends may call me naive, I would like to give you a chance to prove that you aren't just a garden-variety con-artist, that you really like me as a person and want to be my dearest BFF.
So, I'll tell you what: if you can answer the following questions, honestly, from your little heart of hearts, I will consider—CONSIDER, Cassy, NOT AGREE yet—to help you with your little monetary drama. It may look daunting, but if you're serious about "us" you'll take the time! (And anyway it's the very least you could do for putting me to any trouble on your account at all.)
1) First of all, how old are you?
2) Do you believe in reincarnation?
3) Would you rather be deaf or blind?
4) If you found out your best friend was gay/lesbian, what would you do? (Just hypothetical LOL)
5) Do you consider yourself a good listener?
6) Would you rather be short or tall?
7) Would you rather be overly happy and poor, or miserable and filthy rich? (I think we all know the answer to that one LOL)
8) Do you wonder if you have bad breath sometimes?
9) Do you like to dance?
10) Are you shy to ask someone out?
11) Do you like to talk on the phone?
12) Would you rather go on a walk or watch tv?
13) What's your dream honeymoon place?
14) What would be the first thing you'd change about yourself?
15) Do you think boys or girls have it easier?
16) If you had a round-trip ride in any time machine, where would you go?
17) If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do?
18) Do you like Adidas, Nike, Fila, or Reebok [or any other brand]?
19) If you could change your name, what would it be?
20) If you were in a theater and someone was crying, would you laugh? (I would LOL)
21) Have you ever thought you were going to die?
22) What's the hardest thing about growing up?
23) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Would you ever?
24) What little unknown talents do you possess?
25) Would you eat a bowl of live crickets for $40,000? (Um, yes, I think you would, you greedy little bitch LOL)
26) If this Saturday, you could do ANYTHING you wanted, what would you do?
27) What's the worst word(s) you know?
28) Would you rather have a big butt and little boobs, or vice-versa?
29) Have you ever wanted to run away? Run where?
30) What's your worst fear?
31) What is your dream car?
32) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
33) Have you ever felt you were in love?
34) If you were stranded on a deserted island with one person, who would it be?
35) What is your favorite color?
36) What guy/girl do you want more than anyone else?
37) If you could be any animal what would you be?
38) What is your favorite gum?
39) How do you eat an Oreo?
40) Do you eat chicken fingers with a fork?
41) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
42) If you could do anything to the person you hated most what would it be?
I'll be awaiting your answers with bated breath and tightened sphincter!
XO
Aje.
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