WASHINGTON. In more upsetting news for a White House already under siege, First Lady Laura Bush has announced she is leaving the American President for French President Nicolas Sarkozy.

"It was either him or Putin," the First Lady said at a news conference yesterday, confirming rumors that Mr. Sarkozy was, indeed, her "boo."

When asked what qualities lured her away from now ex-boo, George W. Bush, the First Lady paused a moment, and then said with a smile: "We both like stinky cheese.  George is more of a cheetos kind of guy.  And Nicky's got the biggest baguette I've ever seen!  Oh, and he's not afraid to go down on me.  And he knows what a clitoris is.  And he doesn't call it a 'clititimus.'"

Standing next to her, Mr. Sarkozy declared: "My old wife didn't like to lie.  Not in the bed, not in the life.  Laura doesn't mind so much, as long as she is on the top."

Mr. Sarkozy then called her "un vrai chat d'enfer dans le sac!"

According to sources, Mr. Sarkozy popped the question in front of Mr. Bush in the Rose Garden during his first official visit to the White House.  Mrs. Bush blushingly accepted.

"Can she do that?" Mr. Bush asked a White House Lawyer in attendance.

"She is a goddess!" Mr. Sarkozy reportedly snapped.  "She can do anything!"

When asked if she regrets leaving Mr. Bush at this vulnerable time in his presidency, Lady Bush answered, "He doesn't need me.  He's got Dick."