When it comes to spreading the bacteria, it is not homosexuals we have to worry about. It is that much wider swath of the male population examined in the New England Journal of Medicine. In the journal, the medical researchers were not studying gays, they were studying the St. Louis Rams. That is correct: football players; in particular, linebackers.

"In our investigation," the journal noted, "infection occurred only among linemen and linebackers, and not among those in backfield positions, probably because of the frequent contact among linemen during practice and games." Those rug burns I mentioned are in fact turf burns. "All MRSA skin abscesses developed at sites of turf burns," declared the journal.

The study revealed another problem: All football people are not that clean. "We also observed a lack of regular access to hand hygiene," wrote the authors, "for trainers who provided wound care; skipping of showers by players before the use of communal whirlpools; and sharing of towels — all factors that might facilitate the transmission of infection in this setting."