Struggling with the flu last weekend, I decided not to undertake any mentally taxing activities, ended up perusing one of my favorite beefcake blogs, and came across stills from a recent straight-to-DVD movie starring former Wonder Years cutie Fred Savage...


...as a Bud-Lite drinkin', F-bomb-droppin', five-grand-a-night-doggy-stylin' sex addict!


I adored the little Savage in what was one of the best-written and acted-in shows on television in its day, and when I saw that he had grown up into what amounted to a big, hairy version of himself (which I guess most of us do, to greater or lesser degrees), I decided to see if the film was available for instant viewing on Netflix.  And it was!

The Last Run is the ne plus ultra of Former Child Star Syndrome Therapy films.  It has it all.  The Former Child Star is gratuitously naked half of the time, and having tour de force sex with multiple prostitutes or horses the other half, so that no one can deny that the Former Child Star is no longer a child, or, for that matter, a star. 

There's actually a bumper crop of Former Child Stars currently undergoing FCSS therapy, some of them perhaps a wee bit prematurely...


Witnessing the process can be traumatizing, it's true.  But in those rare cases where Therapy works, everyone wins.  Take the case of Mario Lopez, who is almost never seen clothed anymore, nor should he be.  Or his fellow Saved By The Bell alum, the gorgeous Mark-Paul Gosselaar, who has also bared his buns on Network TV. 

But while Saved By The Bell offers two fine examples of FCSS Therapy's successes, it also offers the most ominous  cautionary tale since Danny Bonaducci in the person of Dustin Diamond, aka Screech. 

Now, I don't have any problem with FCSS therapy, but wouldn't a Bar Mitzvah have been easier on everyone?