No More Bad Hair Days (But No More Good Hair Days Either)
You know, it's wonderful, especially at my age, to have hair like this...
...but I literally can't afford it. Unless you're married to a hairdresser, it's just too much. And it's harder to find a hairdresser who understands you than it is to find a shrink. And if your hairdresser doesn't understand you, you're gonna need a shrink, trust me.
Hair like this takes too much time, too much product, and too many trips to the salon (I'm more a barber shop type myself, but going to the barber with a head of hair like this is like, I dunno, giving your five year old the keys to the riding mower). Long and short of it is: you need a personal assistant to deal with it. A hair nanny. I can't be bothered.
At the same time, I can't just let it go and not be bothered by it. I am a deep, hard sleeper, and I have serious bed-head in the morning. (I have serious bed-face, too — you know, when you have creases in your face from the creases in your sheets? I have a rather glamorous septuagenarian lady friend who has tried to instruct me in how to sleep all through the night motionless on my back for the sake of saving my face, but I have not had much success with it. And short of strapping me to the bed and putting my head in a vice, I don't think I'm bound to.)
So, this morning I had an early appointment and ended up having to wait for the shower. It wasn't long, but enough to get me to thinking, if I didn't have all this damned hair I could just get up and go. And then, since I rode my bike I had a bicycle helmet on. And when I took it off, of course I looked like, I dunno, Liza Minelli after she takes off her bowler hat. It's bad.
And that's just the beginning of the identity issues. But I know who I am with a buzz cut. There's no early morning gel crisis. There's no existential angst when I take off my bicycle helmet. I like looking in the mirror and knowing who will be looking back. And Lord knows, the last thing I want in the morning is surprises.
So off it came this afternoon...
Before.
After.
You can't help but think what might have been. But until the right hairdresser comes along, this is about all I can handle.
Buzz cut or not - you're a handsome SOB. So when am I going to see the pillow face? I promise to make breakfast.
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Back in my corporate days, I had my hair pretty long (came down under my chin from the front) and I'd pay $100+tip for a cut every 6 weeks. It's been a buzzcut for $6 at Fantastic Sam's for years now.
I'm growing it out for something different. I grew my beard out a year ago (like 6 inches long) and that turned out to be pretty hideous. I'd never done it before so at least now I know.
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I agree: knowing is important.
I also agree it's also good to mix it up a little every once in a while. And it's a great conversation starter, too. So far this morning, I've had, like, ten people approach me -- at the coffee house, the gym, on the street -- people I see around the neighborhood, say "hi" to, but never really talk to -- stop me and chat me up about the new look.
I was talking with a trainer at the gym who has medium-length curly hair not unlike mine was, but better on him, tell me he's about to do the same thing. He said he likes how the first couple of days after you get a buzz you feel like a bad-ass.
It's funny what a new do can do for you.
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I understand. Been there and all. The buzz cut is for people with too many things to do to find time to primp. I know.
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I never understood this whole Samson/Fabio thingy. The shorter my hair, the butcher I feel. After I get buzzed with a #2 I cannot sashay any more, I have to strut. Even in heels.
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Casting the memory back to college, when I could, just, grow hair atop my head rather than atop my shoulders and out my ears, an additional advantage to the buzz over long hair: it doesn't freeze solid in the wintertime if, like most guys, one's in way too much hurry to blow dry it.
I got through a semester or so on the ponytail (well, pony-nub: Karl Lagerfeld on a bad day...) - it left me thinking "women are freakin' crazy to put up with this shite - screw it!" So, off it came, once and for all, but, as you note, one's gotta know...
Imagine what would happen to vast sectors of the gay economy (not to mention the cocaine trade), however, if everyone were to wake up to this truth...I shudder to think...
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Oh my GOD. I HATE you! You have Doctor McDreamy hair!!! I've always wanted wavy hair like that.
I got stock straight premature grey locks instead.
Bitch.
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You're not prematurely gray - it's right on time baby.
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I don't know which is sexier, the missing hair, or the missing shirt.
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I think it looks good either way.. but short is maybe a little better.
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Hey Mike, as promised I'm making my way through your older entries and it's been worth it. The lovely pictures, the entertaining stories. I was hoping I would see the pre-buzz look somewhere along and I was not disappointed. OMG, what beautiful wavy hair you had before! It's certainly a different look now -- what did your mother say when she saw you? Anyway, as others have commented it no way detracts from your handsome features, no wonder so many guys flock your way. OMG!
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