Forget your old train wreck.  This broad's a plane crash.

I can only hope WHDH Channel 7 GM and self-proclaimed local "big shot" Randi Goldklank will view her arrest on air rage charges (resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, and assault and battery on a police officer) as a teachable moment.

Top Ten Lessons Learned:

1. Mixing Lexapro and "about three dozen drinks." Not a good idea.

2. Flailing is unattractive in a four year old, much less a forty year old.

3. Use your indoor voice around law enforcement officers.

4. Don't ever break the arresting officer's shades. 

5. Remember that no one calls anyone they like a "big shot".

6. If you are a big shot, as you say, expect to have your police report paraded all over the news.

7. When at a loss to explain your drunken rampage, blame it on a death in the family...

8. ...or the guy in the next seat who you claim "inappropriately touched" you. (But wait a couple days before recovering the memory of it.)

9. Oh, and then don't forget to turn on your wiles for the arresting officer. (A great line that always gets 'em: "You think I’m cute and I think you're cute, just drive me home.")

10. "I will put you on TV and ruin your life!": bad, ba-a-a-a-ad karma.