I am often stopped on the street and asked, "excuse me, sir, but how do you stay so sexy, smart, and slim?"  Is it Power Yoga?  Hours on the Treadmill?  Your fast-paced, results-oriented life?  And I always smile and yawn, and say, "Well, would you look at that?  It's time for my nap! You wanna have sex?"

That's the secret to being sexy, smart and slim! Like most men, sex (among many, many other things) puts me right to sleep, and smart people know that sex is the best form of exercise you can get, and sleep is the best appetite suppressant there is!  It's the circle of life!  Hakuna Matata! 

Now somebody's gone and written a book about it, so everyone will know!  I don't mind.  I'm all for people being as sexy and smart as they're capable of being (and they don't have to be mutually exclusive, y'know), and slim is in! 

Golly, all this talk about sleep is making me sleepy.  Plus I just had a huge chicken salad sub from Emilio's.  Oh my God.  Better than sex.  I thought the chicken salad at Billy's was good.  But Emilio's puts celery in theirs.  I mean, that's why celery was invented.  Not to mention it's like five whole chickens-worth of chicken in their sub.  If the guys at Billy's weren't so much cuter, I would go to Emilio's for my chicken salad fix every day.

Anyway, I feel like a wolf who's just raided the hen house.  I gotta have a siesta, slim down a little before going out tonight...