I got a package in the mail today, addressed to my blog c/o me, which I thought was intriguing. With the Anthranx Killer out of the way I figured it was safe to open it.

There was a very nice letter from the good folks at the heretofore-unheard-of web magazine cybersocket — CLICK AT YOUR OWN RISK! ADULT CONTENT GALORE! WOO-HOO! — informing me that my site had been "featured" in the latest issue. 

I felt like a sweepstakes winner.

A complimentary issue was included...


...with my boyfriend, Kyle King, on the cover.  That's kinda fishy, I thought.  Was Kyle behind all this?  More likely Kyle's behind was behind it, but whatever.

There was a sticky in the magazine tipping me off to my content.  It was a quote from one of my dispatches from hook-up Hell in an ably-written article titled "The Fine Art of Hooking Up Online" by a certain Justin Bobby.

I'll take it.  Not only does Monsieur Bobby quote me, he gives me the last word on the topic (which happens to be "revelatory").  Kyle must have roughed him up for me, that big yummy lug. 

Now, how to work it into my résumé?  Hook-up Expert sounds too pedestrian.  Masturbation Consultant?  Cyberslut Savant?...