With the race for the White House still pretty tight, it's about time for an October surprise, wouldn't you say?  Here are a few of my top pics for Campaign 2008's eleventh-hour game-changers.  Some would tip the scale to the right, others to the left, but all would be at least a little surprising... 

10. Animatronic Bin Laden Head releases a hearty congratulations to the American people for being about to elect a Secret Muslim to the White House.


9. Ahmadinejad changes his name to Cody and gives up his nuclear ambitions to open a boutique in Tehran's hijab district.

8. Iraq all the sudden becomes a democracy.

7. The Europeans fire up their Giant Hard-on Atom Smasher Thingy again, and black hole finally, mercifully, swallows earth. 

6. Alien endorses McCain-Palin.
5. George W. Bush endorses Obama.

4. Sarah Palin's Playboy Interview includes nude centerfold and a Pole-Dancing for Dummies DVD she did while attending Cosmetology classes at Wasilla Community College in the mid-nineties.

3. It is discovered that Tina Fey actually is Sarah Palin and doesn't just play her on TV.


2. Dick Cheney goes on Hannity & Colmes and announces: "I have existed from the morning of the world and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night. Although I have taken the form of the Vice President, I am actually a God." He declares himself Emperor of America, negating the need for elections.  Republicans breathe sigh of relief.

1. The Rapture comes early, decimating the top of the GOP ticket.  America must settle for the now not-so-secret Muslim and his scrappy sidekick from Scranton.