So, our long national nightmare is finally over. 

And in the end waking up was fairly painless.  When where's the outrage? isn't working out, why not try where's the love? 

In fact, I fully expect an Obama baby boom in nine months.  Mark my words, there's gonna be a slew of Obama babies.  After that victory speech didn't you just want to fuck?  That's what hope feels like, people. 

Don't forget to change the sheets.  (Hope really does lead to change.)

I'll admit that I was a little worried that once I hit the voting booth, myself, I'd turn into a Bradley Effect Zombie, and blindly vote for all the white candidates on the ballot, but, as we recently discovered, I have "a moderate automatic preference for African Americans compared to European Americans."  That, and the fact that the interior of the VFW post where I vote is covered in lead paint, thus keeping dangerous Bradley Effect Rays out, provided me with a safe voting environment, allowing me to express my moderate automatic preference.

The state ballot questions weren't really even close either.  Toke up! As long as it's under an ounce.  But don't expect to get high and go to the dog races.  The latter will no longer be legal in Massachusetts.

It wasn't all blowjobs and skittles in the rest of the country, though.  Everywhere a gay marriage ban was proposed it passed.  So much for Californication.  At least Californians are kind to animals. While hoping to stuff gays back into their closets, voters there chose to outlaw confining cages for egg-laying hens and restrictive pens for veal calves and pregnant sows.  They can't help that they're animals, after all.  And we're still going to eat them.

That's progress, American style.