I've just read this interview in the Advocate with Daniel Nardicio, the guy who got Levi Johnston to pose for Playgirl.  Levi's shoot is this Friday, and New York's all abuzz about his johnson.  Is it big?  Is he cut?  I'll admit, I'm curious, but somehow I don't think he's hung.  I think he thinks he's hung, but he doesn't strike me as a guy who knows for sure. 

Nardicio is hedging his bets as well, which is not a good sign, because you know he's a size queen. Tell me he's not putting lipstick on a pig here:

I know it’s a healthy-size American male penis. Frankly, I’m treating it like I would any lover — I like to be surprised. Knowing I’m going to bed with a guy who has a giant cock is kind of fun, but it’s also fun to be like, “What could this be?” But even if Levi had a micro-penis, we’d still photograph him.

Oh dear.  It may be even worse than I thought. 

First of all, "a healthy-size American male penis," as opposed to a, um, healthy-sized American female penis?  Compared to some, American penises might seem like female penises.  I remember when I was working for NATO in Hungary (true story) and some of my Hungarian soldiers started talking about penis size, without any prompting from me (I swear).

I don't know how it came up, so to speak, but many had been abroad on peace-keeping missions, and they had had opportunities to compare penis size by nationality.  After some debate amongst themselves they reached a consensus on Hungarian average size, which they put at 18 cm, a little over seven inches.  In my research, which I can assure you rivals Kinsey's, that was actually on the low side of average for Hungarians.

Americans don't fare well in comparison, no matter what they claim. They do talk a good game, though.  According to Manhunt, for example, their members in Massachusetts claim to have an average size of over seven and a quarter inches. Dream on, bitches.  Still, if there's any truth at all to the lies men tell about penis size online, it doesn't bode well for Levi's:


Alaskans came in dead last in even self-professed penis size. 

So I guess the real question is, were they being modest or truthful?  Because if they're being truthful, the Alaskan average is actually still about an inch and a half longer than the accepted average in scientific circles.  (There's another possibility: Alaskans just didn't know everyone else was measuring from the taint.)

Whatever the case, let's just hope Levi's is bigger than Sarah's.  Otherwise, this could get really, really ugly.