So, didja hear? Ted Haggard is CURED! 


Not to rain on his parade, but I think he might just be in remission.  Whatever.  Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

According to his wife  — Christians have been getting gay-married for years, just with gays of the opposite sex — the meth-smoking, Bible-thumping power-bottom has been welcomed back into "the marriage bed".  Um, so long as he brings his double-headed dildo.

Wife knows the drill.  She's probably the one doing the drilling now that they can't afford to hire a third.  But there's hope yet. She's written a book about gay marriage called “Why I Stayed". 

She told TODAY’s Meredith Vieira Wednesday: “Through the years, what I’ve discovered is that it would reemerge in Ted’s life from time to time, but he didn’t tell me about it.” 

He was just rockin' it old school.  Now that he's out as a "heterosexual with issues" (that's the closest you can come as an Evangelical to being Metrosexual) it's no holds barred in the Haggard boudoir. 

“Our relationship is better than it’s ever been," she told Meredith. "Going over this mountain together has given me the marriage that I’ve always longed for."

Why do I get the feeling Snuggies are a part of this picture?  Snuggies, meth, a length of rope, and various strap-ons.

Anyway, I'm happy for the Haggards.  You know what they say: a family that prays together and parties-n-plays together, stays together.