So Jake has informed me he's looking for a sublet and plans to move out as soon as he can find one.  I think the Lord Fauntleroy Suite was a little too grand on a student income.

Not to worry, he's placed an ad on Craigslist so that possibly one of these fine people can then sublet his room.  I suppose I shouldn't complain.  He is being ever so responsible finding his replacement, whom I'll have to endure for the next four months.

I perved his ad, and almost shed a little tear when I read: "The other roommate is [a] mature professional who is a breeze to get along with."  I mean, "mature" — ouch.  I know it's more or less accurate (especially the bit about being a breeze to get along with), but I can't help but think of those "mature singles" dating sites.  I'm too young to be a...

I also almost shat myself when I read: "An agreement can be made if you are interested in purchasing some of the existing furniture (all very high quality)."  That little weasel is trying to offload those two Bob's Discount La-z-boys, isn't he?

Of course, he's informed me I'll have first dibbs on the Fauntleroy Suite, but I doubt I'll get it at a discount rate.  It's actually a kind of blackmail.  I mean, he's basically telling me: either buy me out or I'll put some psycho in there so that even if you do make it through the summer alive, you'll have been wishing you were dead the whole time.

The thing that I find most astonishing about the kid's behavior is that I really think he thinks he's doing everybody a good turn here.   He'll find a subletter, and to him that's the extent of his obligation.  As long as whomever it is can pay the rent, who cares if he murders me in my sleep? That'd me breaking my lease.  Not his problem.

Maybe I should sublet mine to a psycho, too, and we can start taking bets on who offs who first. 

I told him not to worry, I would take his room, and sublet mine.  Whether I end up in the Fauntleroy Suite or not in reality is obviously irrelevant.  It really is the only way to get him out of the equation all together at this point. 

Now, about those la-z-boys.