I've listed a couple things on eBay before (I had some 2008 campaign memorabilia: a vial with Hillary Clinton's tear in it, Barack Obama's Canned Hope, and the like), but I don't usually shop eBay.  Some years ago I bought an old  government-issue overhead projector in a sleek (for its time) carrying case, but aside from that I haven't been back much. 

Problem is I don't trust some of the sellers enough to not go shilling.  But I'm trying to decorate the bathroom in the new flat, and my search for vintage muscle magazine covers to frame and hang on the walls led me to eBay, where I bought the following for cheap, without bidding:

But, obviously, I saw lots of other stuff that turned my crank, too, like this old photo from AMG...

Trouble is, the latter was an auction item.  But the photo was, like, $4.50 starting bid, so it's not like it was a high stakes thing.  What the heck, I threw my hat in the ring.  It'd been up for two-and-a-half days and I think there'd been one bid on it — it was a whopping five bucks. 

But as soon as I typed in my bid — 50¢ more than the previous one — there was a counterbid that bumped it up another 50¢.  I mean, it was like, automatic.  Like, before I could even bask in a second of glory at having the top bid, I'd lost it again.  So, of course, this set off a little flurry of bidding between me and whoever my rival was, until we were pushing ten bucks!

This was getting pretty high-stakes all the sudden!

I wasn't sure I wanted to pay that plus the international shipping fee of $5.50.  I already suspected the photo was probably a facsimile or a page torn from an old Physique Pictorial.  And the description of the item wasn't helpful:

AMG  PHOTOGRAPH .This  is a  4 x 5  photograph . These photographs are in good condition.. I have collected these photographs for almost to many years to remember. From Bruce to Bob Mizer..who lived in my neighborhood,and of course Don Whitman ,Constance Spartan of Hollywood among  with other lesser known photographers.

I have cherished these photographs for years, It's just the right time in my life to let them go.Thank you for looking.

I find the little personal narrative unconvincing, and irrelevant besides. I mean, I know people get sentimental about their porn, but please.  It's a red herring — a ruse in the place of actual authentication. Which I wouldn't need at five bucks, but once we start in on the double digits, I don't take anything on faith.

Still, I was tempted to toss out an outrageous bid, just to see what would happen.  But I checked the urge.  I figured I was getting a shilling.  I was totally convinced it was the seller, logged in as someone else, finally getting a nibble, and pushing up the bid.  I mean, what's to stop him?*

Best to just drop it.  But something happens when you get in the middle of a bidding war. I didn't really even want the thing that much, but suddenly, when somebody else wanted it, I wanted it more. 

Not, like, ten dollars more.  Or even five.  Four-fifty tops. 

Still, it reminded me a little of a night out cruising, somehow.  eGay?  eGad.
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*Come to find, it was automatic, incremental bidding I was dealing with — which is arguably worse.  I was in a bidding war with a robot, for chrissakes.  It makes a total mockery of my already inexplicable heated desire for this item.