Why waste a perfectly good garbage patch?

So I was reading my morning paper when this great idea popped into my head. 

Jackasses like this Koran-burning yokel who's all the sudden all over the news making demands — he'll call off his Koran-burning if they move the mosque.  Oh, OK.  That was easy.  Say what? — Well, instead of paying attention to these douchetards (next thing you know he'll have his own reality show — maybe some sort of American Idol for the Fred Phelps set) , let's just scoop 'em up and drop 'em on the Great Pacific Garbage Patch where they belong.

I mean, first of all, WTF?  Let him burn all the Korans he wants, fuggin pinhead.  If no one calls fatwa on his ass, I'll convert to Islam and do it myself.  I mean, are you kidding me?  Shut the fuck up.  

You know?  Here everybody's trying to do him a favor.  And he's trying to bargain with us!  

How about this: the mosque stays where it is, and once it's built you can burn it down?  Would that be satisfactory?  I mean, why are we negotiating with this clown?  Is it because we live in an idiocracy?  Can just anyone pipe up with a stupid idea and go mano-a-mano with the President and the Joint Chiefs?

Oh, yeah.  I guess they can. My bad. 

It's a shame to let the garbage patch go to waste is all I'm saying.  There are actually folks out there who think we can turn it into an eco-paradise.  My plan would supply the labor for such an enterprise.

And who knows but that in a couple hundred years it won't end up a perfectly respectable island nation all its own, like, say Australia (no disrespect), which was once a penal colony, after all. 

And look at 'em now!