The Year of Gardening Dangerously
Well, that got rather sordid rather quickly.
Ick.
My apologies.
I honestly didn't expect such a, um, spirited campaign for a position on the all-volunteer board of a garden society.
If I can have a meta moment here – that part of me that’s a disinterested observer of human behavior — the way that some folks reacted to this is … wow. It’s something I just didn’t anticipate.
David has continued to abuse people’s email, spreading craziness about my nefarious “needle in every arm , condom in every plot” campaign. Many names (mostly gay and gay-friendly, as it turns out) were left off his bulk mail list, and he’s telling the others: “ [my opponent] wants to dissolve the safeguards that I have put in place with the BPD and wants to couple up with FHC which I kicked out for their needle and condom distribution.”
Homo say wha…?
No idea where he’s getting this. Well, I mean, it’s innuendo based on the fact that I’m gay. I hate to put it that way, but I have never said anything about needle or condom distribution, and by repeatedly insisting that I have – and he’s actually insisting I “want to couple up with FHC” (by which I still think he means Fenway Community Health and not Franciscan Children’s Hospital) — he is, in his mind, making a logical assumption based on the fact the I am gay. Because, obviously gay people are always exchanging needles and trafficking condoms. More disturbingly, he clearly thinks that these assumptions based on my sexuality are going to scare people from voting for me. Friends, homophobia doesn’t get any better than this.
But certain other people’s silence in the face of this has also been bizarre, unexpected, and disturbing.
While I’ve gotten a lot of calls and emails saying “that was whack”, only one of them said “and I wrote him back to tell him how inappropriate it was.” (And followed it up with “I'm sure he'll now go take a big old shit at my gate and chop down my rose bush as 'pay back.' I don't care. If I have one philosophy in life it is to go down swinging.”)
Nobody wants any trouble. People have lives. And everybody fears retaliation. That’s some community we’ve got there.
But see, that’s not the organization I joined, and it’s not the one I know. And it’s not the future I see.
Well, not the distant future anyway.
I had a long strategy session with my wonderfully sane campaign guru (who must obviously remain anonymous) last night, and the scenarios he outlined for a floor fight all seemed perfectly heinous. We do not have a strong enough Board Chair at this point to stop the thing from dissolving into chaos. And no one knows the method of voting – if it’s a show of hands the element of intimidation will come into play. It will all need to be hammered out beforehand.
None of this is how I’d envisioned it, although I suppose I could have anticipated it to some extent.
It all started rather innocently and exuberantly last summer, when I kept hearing from people that no one wanted to run, so I stuck my dick out. I figured I'd give back out of gratitude for all the gardens had given me over the last six years. Not that I took this step lightly. If I was going to do it, I wanted to make sure to do it right.
And I did my homework. Back when I was still thinking of running for VP of Communication and Development, I talked to a lot of people about it – not just in the garden community, but City of Boston, Parks & Rec, Emerald Necklace, BNAN. Everyone I met was positive, articulate, dedicated to making things better and full of fresh ideas and feedback. It was energizing.
But one short conversation changed my mind about the VP of Communication gig. It was after the final group work day, and St. Jean, who at the time considered himself the presumptive President-elect, called me over.
He wanted me on his “slate”, although he never asked, and I never offered (I have since been told I was listed on it as his VP of Communication).
He started talking very excitedly about what he called "take back the night events”, which I don’t think had anything to do in his mind with the national movement as such, which is about rape-prevention for women (ladies, trust me: The Fenway is the safest spot in Boston for you after dark).
No, I immediately got visions of mobs with baseball bats and torches, setting fire to the reeds and chasing the gays out, and thought, um, no, I don’t think I can market that. I nodded and smiled and walked away.
And the very next day I contacted the nominating committee, and clickety-clack wrote a little blog post outlining my aspirations for office and reasons for running.
I had already spoken to tons of people about the exciting prospects for the coming season – I’d already done a considerable amount of work on the website re-launch and had been brainstorming events and programming with folks – and felt sure that with a little pluck we could pull it all off. La-tee-dah!
Then came this bizarre bulk email.
Basically the email equivalent to finding a flaming bag-o-shit on your front porch. But with the perp’s name and address clearly visible on it. Proudly proclaiming its provenance.
I mean, seriously. WTF.
And I say this as a concerned citizen, not as someone who’s running against the guy.
But I am running against the guy.
But I would hope that even if I weren’t I’d have the courage my friend had to stand up for common decency if I was as outraged as people say they are by his behavior. It doesn't mean you have to vote for me. It means, we as a community need to stand up and say, look, there's a line. That's what I expect from my community.
But I also realize that I sprang this on a lot of people, and that that's part of the reason the reaction was so fierce.
So after I left my guru last night, I came home and wrote an email to my opponent:
David,My sense is that he’ll think it’s a trap, and I won’t hear back. But honestly, if by reaching out we can come to some basic understanding of where to draw the line, that’d be a win-win in my book.
I want to first say that I am sorry that I sprang my decision to run for President of FGS on everyone the way I did. I did go through the nominating committee as prescribed by the bylaws, but I was not sensitive to other's plans, and for that I apologize.
I was obviously not happy with your bulk email. But I understand that it was a reaction to what I had written. which was critical of some of your work. I did not mean it as a personal attack, David. The issues that I discussed I have thought seriously about and there are things I would do differently. That's legitimate to debate.
I have never doubted your hard work, or that you have the well-being of the gardens at heart. Never. And I never will. It's not the issue for me.
You have not been as charitable with me. But again, I understand where you're coming from. Things were falling into place for 2011, and I sort of threw a little monkey wrench in the works.
Still, I and many others were shocked by the tone of your email. We are an organization that is visible in the community, and the language and themes of the email were clearly inappropriate, especially for someone who hopes to represent the Victory Gardens to the wider community, which is a big part of what the President does.
Your security concerns are legitimate. I have actually written about the issues in detail myself. I take security in the gardens very seriously. And addressed the issue directly in my post announcing my run.
There were some untruths about me in your bulk email which also troubled me. I'm not going to dwell on that. There is ample documentation to show my participation. But I would ask that you tone it down, as publicly calling me a liar where my work is concerned is potentially damaging to me professionally even if I can prove you wrong, and could be considered slander. Obviously off-limits.
I have spoken to the outgoing President and several others about the format of the annual meeting. In the interest of all involved it must be orderly and brief. I intend to express my sincere gratitude to the current board and make my case. I will do so in a civil and respectful way. I hope you will commit to do the same.
I am happy to meet and discuss things beforehand, the two of us, or with other current or potential officers and/or the nominating committee. I do not believe that the tone of your email, or, for that matter, some of my posts about the election, are the answer. I think we can both do better.
Again, I recognize that I'm partly responsible for your reaction. It reflected poorly on both of us.
Thanks for your time David.
Mike
I don’t think belittling or berating, much less doubting members’ contributions to an all-volunteer organization is exactly getting your administration off on the right foot. I hope he’ll step back from that ledge and see the logic of it, too.
Posted by Mike Mennonno at 11/18/2010 6:35 AM 
Categories: The Agenda, The Naked Gardener, A Day in the Life
Categories: The Agenda, The Naked Gardener, A Day in the Life
Excellent response, and a hell of a lot nicer than he deserves. I'll be interested to see if he replies.
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That is a beautifully crafted email to him, Mike. It's actually heartwarming to read. You must have a good guru!
Good luck to you!
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oh, Mike!!! Don't tell me you actually thought this was going to be a *rational* campaign dealing with issues of how to make the Gardens a better place for ALL, now, did you??? You're too young to be A Trippy Hippy type like me, aren't you??? (grin) Homophobia in the FENS, I am, like Bogart's "good friend Louie", shocked, simply shocked!!! *of* *course* your sexual preferences were going to come up, and IMO it's a good thing it's sooner rather than later. You can make it work FOR you - IMO he's shown his hand far too soon.
See, you can continue to come across as The Adult in the conversation, as long as you keep your cool - sounds as though he's already lost his, kwim? And that's a plus for YOU. Don't name-call back no matter how provoked he tries to make you (and, believe me, like any other 12-year-old bully he's *going* to try and bug the cr*p outta you - note, I did NOT write bugger, etc. :::smile:::)
He feels threatened by your up front gayness, although he might mostly only be power hungry. Yeah, I know, it's a Garden Club, not the mayor's office, but for some folks *every* thing reflects, for them, personally.
You *dared* to run against him, you creep!!! That's what he sounds like. He'd have reacted the same way to anybody, I suspect, it's just your being so upfront gay and "out there" about sexuality is sublimely threatening for him, and he believes it's a very good weapon for him to use.
Don't let him! Keep on track, be nice but not a softie - call him on the really junkie stuff, but keep to plan. YOUR plan. Don't just react to him, keep pushing and pushing at what YOU want for the group and the place, how much you love it and want to make it better. The message will eventually get across (to others, he's pretty much a loss, methinks), and at least make folks think about it.
And read up on the bylaws of the organization too, while you're about it. Never hurts to have a fall-back position, and you NEED to know what *might* be coming. Foresight and forethought, Mikey! Keep your temper, try to not be overly snide about the creep if you can manage it, and GOOD LUCK!! with the election.
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I really hope you get to hear back from him. Also hope he doesn't just brush it off with such little time left until the vote. Good luck, as always
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"No idea where he’s getting this. Well, I mean, it’s innuendo based on the fact that I’m gay."
Oh, Mike, where do these homophobes get ANY of the slurs that they sling at gays and lesbians who run for office of any kind? They LIE. They find something incendiary based on the fact that we have sex of a different kind and the next thing you know we have gays recruiting children, gays not living past 30 because we all have AIDS, etc. ad infinitum. The plan is to instill a deep sense of fear in the electorate. And the bastards are very good at doing just that.
Obama found it out when the ultra-Right invented Kenyan birth, Muslim faith, Death Panels, and all that other idiocy about tyranny and Hitler comparisons -- and got an unhealthy percentage of the American people to believe it.
You got hit by the sick reality of American politics (no matter the level) in the 21st century -- lie, defame and misrepresent your way into office.
Stand fast, hold to your platform and your straightforward personal style of representing it. Best of luck -- you deserve it.
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What a trip. It sounds like he's thinking that nasty methods will get him elected. I don't think folks are that gullible really.
Here in Canada when a politician is openly gay it's considered a sign of honesty. I think in the States it varies from place to place.
I like how you remind him that you both have the same goal. Important to mention. Hopefully he'll see how his methods will backfire on him if he doesn't stop them.
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Mike:
My best wish for you is that you achieve this most worthy goal. Were I able, you would have my vote (if only for the fab plant photos you always post). I'm sure you know by now that all non-profits are dysfunctional in some fashion. Paraphrase the first line from Anna Karenina: Successful non-profits are all alike; every unsuccessful non-profit is unsuccessful in its own way. Not that I am suggesting that the FGS is at all unsuccessful...but you know what I mean (boy, do you ever).
And Abbey is completely right. The first thing I wondered when you mentioned the voting procedure was, What do the FGS' by-laws/procedures say?
Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead, but I offer you one piece of totally unsolicited advice gleaned from my own impossibly pathetic yet rewarding 25 years' experience with 3 museums, 3 LGBT political orgs, 3 schools, 2 micro-lending economic development groups, 2 church groups, 1 gay rodeo association, and 1 "save-the-beaches" foundation where I've served (and serve) in the ranks and on the boards. I don't know how long your term might be, but whatever the period, pick a maximum of 3 things to accomplish, line up your "get-it-done" team, and do it. For that sterling service, you'll be acclaimed a blue poppy 'midst all the other violets.
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Great feedback, all, and much appreciated!
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Mike,
My partner and I regularly ride our bikes through out the Fens and often walk through the paths of the gardens in the summer looking at the individual gardens. In all my years living here, it never dawned on me the drama that lurked behind your organization of green thumbs! This is more dramatic than a Brazilian Soap Opera... Be sure to continue with the story - I'm curious to read how this ends.
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Honestly, I had no idea either. My sense is that this drama is really in one man's mind, and not so much in the Garden Society itself. None of this is representative of my experience over the years in the Victory Gardens. I am hoping that at the meeting members don't choose to make this sort of thing literally representative of the organization.
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