Weighty Things
This blew my mind.
I was perusing the Times online this morning and came upon a headline on the opinion page I could not for the life of me decipher: "The Kilogram to Come: The longstanding search for a new official kilogram has gained urgency."
I thought, is it one of those urbane, laugh up your sleeve editorials that only New York Time Sunday Crossword Puzzlers and New Yorker cartoon caption winners can appreciate?
I clicked the link and it only got worse:
The official kilogram, a cylinder of platinum and iridium maintained by the International Bureau of Weights and Measures, is more than 130 years old. It is stored under three glass domes in a safe in a basement in Sèvres, France, and can be accessed only with three independent keys.Whaa? Have I had a stroke? Why can't I understand anything?
Is this for real? There's an official kilogram? It's a thing? Like a real thing? And it's under three glass domes? In a safe in a basement? In France? Does anyone else smell the next Pink Panther movie here? At the very least, a bestselling Thriller called Weighty Things?
I mean, there's intrigue:
The kilogram would be making the leap from the 19th century to the present in a single jump, its only redefinition since 1889 when the first meeting of the General Conference on Weights and Measures was held. The trouble is that metrologists — scientists of measurement — don’t agree on what the new standard should be.suspense:
Technically, the cylinder is not even the official kilogram until it has been cleaned in an authorized manner to remove contaminants.It's priceless.
It is the only remaining international standard in the metric system that is still a man-made object.I want it.
I want it, even if it's dirty and "losing mass, which defeats its only purpose: constancy."
It's only purpose: constancy.
Oh my God. Don't you see? It's the perfect Valentine's Day Gift. Better than a box of Godiva chocolates!
I want it! I'll wear it! I have just the outfit!
I just hope the new kilogram is heavier than the old one so that I weigh fewer of them. This diet might finally pay off!
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OMG! The excitement is catching!! Why don't they just make a new kilogram that weighs exactly a kilogram???!!
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I so love France- what would we do without her? To wit: "...until it has been cleaned in an authorized manner to remove contaminants." Bien sur, how could one NOT expect this ritual from la belle France that originated le grand lever of Louis XIV?
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Let me just mention that if we open our eyes a little wider than just what we purchase at the super market or see on our bathroom scales, the precision of a measurement like a kilogram is of tremendous significance. Two of the most important measurements to experimental science are time and weight, thus the importance of the observatory at Greenwich in England and of this "golden" kilogram in France. What fascinates me is that a metallic object so isolated from the depredations of the Earth's atmosphere could be losing mass. I wish the article had gone into THAT!
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Assuming that mass is merely composed of atoms it makes sense that atoms would slowly drop off. Nothing is truly static; there is constant movement - or so I was taught. Where did the the atoms go? Scattered around on the floor, perhaps some of the atoms scampered past the glass molecules. Sounds weird but no weirder than glass simply being an extremely slow moving liquid.
This is a big assumption in light of the existence of Creationists. They might argue that since atoms are not mentioned in Genesis that they don't exist. But then one could argue that Adam is merely a mistranliteration.
The idea of an official kilogram proves that we are creatures of sublime brilliance or absurdity or both.
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