Two months ago her snake she lost
On a red line train to UMass
The T then fined her for the cost
Of a boa ticket (first class)

Six hundred fifty bucks is fare
For a snake to travel alone
Unless it transfers anywhere
Which then costs six and fifty-one

It costs less with a monthly card
Or eleven years and younger
Please keep live rodents in a jar
For all trips three stops and longer.

Please let passengers off before
You get on.  Don’t lay any eggs.
If giving live birth clean the floor
(slipp’ry for those of us with legs).

No slithering along the tracks
You know the third rail is dange’rous
Please be sure to bring your own snacks
You mustn’t eat helpless strangers.

When you reach your destination
Please remember: take all your things,
Do not loiter in the station,
Or leave behind any shed skins.

Thank you for your kind attention.
And thank you for riding the T.
Oh, one last thing we should mention:
Venomous snakes travel for free.