Everybody else seems in agreement that more bikes on the streets of Boston is a good thing. 

Well, it looks like we're about to test  it out.  The City's new bike-share program is set to launch this summer!  If it matches the city's expectations it could mean 600 additional cyclists on our city streets. 

Oh. Joy.

Not to rain on anybody's bicycle parade but for those of us who bicycle-commute this could spell gridlock.  Boston cyclists are bad enough on their own without adding tourists to the mix.

So, in the interest of not further mangling up our mean streets, here are some tips for tourists raring to take advantage of Boston's bike-share bonanza:

Do...

- Religiously follow all the rules of the road, as other cyclists do. I mean, of course, as other cyclists do... blow by, yell mean things at you, and call you names, effin douchebag.

- Learn the word "douchebag".  You will be hearing it and using it often.

- Stop at stop lights.  Pile-ups are a great way to meet other singles! 

- Rock out in spandex.  Rrrrowwwwrrr!  Even if you aren't riding, hang out in a spandex onesy — it's the official summer uniform of Boston!  People will think you're really cool!

- Wear a helmet, and a flak jacket.  Again, even if you're not riding.

- Pop a wheelie every time you hear the word "douchebag" — it's a local tradition.

- Learn to gracefully execute endos and stoppies.  You will be doing a lot of them.  Eventually you will probably learn to master the stoppie-double-endo-over-car-door-drop-and-roll (also called "the Collarboner").  It's gnarly.

- Use the rage for good.

- Make sure you ONLY RIDE WHERE THERE ARE BIKE LANES, which should take you to, uh... Cambridge.

Don't...

- Ride on the sidewalk, unless the sidewalk is actually wider than the street.

- Drink and bike.  Unless you're Irish.  In which case don't bike sober.

- Stop for pedestrians.  It will only confuse them. 

- Exceed your quota of pedestrian hits (3 per day in Back Bay, except on Newbury Street where you get one extra; 5 in Fenway — 10 on game days; 7 on Huntington Ave between Mass Ave and Ruggles). 

- Wear skinny jeans with the U-lock in your back pocket and your butt-crack showing.  This will only exponentially increase your being called a "douchebag" on and off your bike.  And the rules say in this case you cannot "douchebag" (called a "double-dog-douchebag") back.

- Take your earbuds out.  The sound of people screaming "douchebag!" at you will only distract you from your douchebaggery.

Happy biking, Boston!