Weiners and Losers
You know, I was going to let this Weiner pass by unmolested. But it's so hard! Especially with all the mean girls piling on. I mean, check this out:
MEOW!
So a bunch of new photos of Weiner at the gym in various stages of undress (yawn), making muscles and grabbing his dick, have surfaced, throwing House Dems and Talking Heads into a tizzy.
"sordid", "indefensible", "bizarre, unacceptable behavior" — and that's from his friends on the floor.
Face the Nation's Bob Schieffer called the shirtless pictures "disgusting and despicable," and wondered "is he sick? Well, doctors will decide that."
"If this were a high school student who'd been caught doing what he did," Schieffer huffed, "he'd've been expelled before dark on the day he did it!"
Schieffer's showing his age. Everybody knows this is perfectly normal for high school kids, middle aged gay men...
My Weiner pic.
All of which is why it actually is a little strange coming from Weiner.
It's immature, unprofessional (everybody's in a huff because he was in the "workplace" gym when he did it) and kinda gay, but is it really sordid and despicable? (Oooh, I hope so!)
Weiner reminds me of another Weiner we all know: Dawn Weiner (her brother Mark is a good match, too) from Welcome to the Dollhouse, a geek who was probably picked on at school but assured by his Jewish mother that he was God's gift. He's the skinny kid from Latin Club and the debate team who dreaded showering after gym class.
His snaps scream: "Well, look at me now!"
At some point the neurotic little freak started working out and got to thinking he had a secret weapon, and compared to straight men his age he's — well, let's put it this way: he's a straight 7, even if he's a gay 3.
Still, the pictures are more silly than sexy. Here's someone taking cell phone pics in the mirror, obviously thinking he's smokin' hot. Most men are sexually deluded. Cut the guy some slack, for chrissake. I mean, again, he's no Aaron Shock.
I will say this: Weiner should definitely have his congressional gym membership suspended. I'm sure there's a no camera phone rule he's broken here. It's a little known fact that such rules aren't so much to protect others from snap-happy pervs as to protect the latter from themselves.
Mark Twain once remarked: “To a man all things are possible but one—he cannot have a hole in his breeches and keep his fingers out of it."
Cell phone cameras are a little like that.
Mike, I hear what you're saying and I'm as sympathetic to a guy showing his stuff as the next homo, but there's something about this that strikes me as a tweet too far.
The country is coming apart at the seams, racism and bigotry run rampant, we have two interminable wars draining us of resources, assets and lives, the government is virtually non-functional, people without a brain in their heads are being accepted as viable presidential candidates; I think it isn't helpful to have this kind of side show going on while some mature, focused and intelligent leadership is so desperately needed. It might be borderline sordid, it certainly isn't anything so theatrical as despicable, but I worry that any of these clowns from either party is doing this kind of thing when some meaningful action on the disaster that faces us is what should be going on.
Reply to this
I agree with everything you've said here -- but it is precisely the hysteria being whipped up around this "ridiculous distraction" (as one cynical but accurate comment by one of Weiner's colleagues across the aisle put it) that is the problem. I mean, this is politco-tainment at its reality-show worst-best.
But I do think it's interesting that Congressman Aaron Shock gets to show off his abs on the cover of men's Health, and it's not at all sordid or whatever. It reminds me of that great SNL Sex Harassment Training Video with Tom Brady...
Reply to this
That SNL clip is classic! Why didn't you use your cell phone to take the picture? It would have been funnier!
Reply to this
Because that pic is from, like, 2006. I still had a flip-phone until about three months ago. And I haven't really been to the gym since then.
Reply to this
Mercy me Mike... you've set my heart all a flutter with your dreamy lil weiner pic. I'm going to have to dig back in your files to find that joys of bachelorhood photo you posted about a year or so ago again. I'm going to have to start loitering in the Fenway under the pretense of bumping into you.
Reply to this
Rome is burning while Nero fiddles. The Federal government is heading toward bankruptcy, the nation is fighting TWO WARS of occupation, industry in this country has virtually collapsed, middle class incomes are forced to decrease, thousands of small businesses have gone belly up, people are still loosing homes by the thousand, etc.
Yet the attention paid to one minor congressman doing what men have done in various modes for millennia is reported and played as though it is a constitutional crisis.
Of course we really have no one to blame but ourselves. News sells only to the extent that "we" buy.
Reply to this
dude--if i could go back to the nice sweet skinny mike mnn0nn0 at college--the one who throws up on .5 pitchers of beer---
and show him this pic---and NEW AND IMPROVED MEN-NO-N0 5.0..
he would say i was nutty--
the long curly locks of intellectual intrigue and wonder -of a child playing with pics of pen-eye...
to the new .5 man .5 manchine---buffed--sexually charged --solid mass of erect musKle>
oh if he could have known !
"When I look over my shoulder,
What do you think I see ?
Some other cat looking over
His shoulder at me
And he's strange, sure he's strange.
You've got to pick up every stitch,
You've got to pick up every stitch,
Beatniks are out to make it rich,
Oh no, must be the season of the witch"
Reply to this